My microwave is loud
You could say it is uncouth
But my microwave is not human
Telling the truth will not hurt it
So it shouldn’t be anthropomorphed

The microwave will fax me messages at work
Hello hello hello hello
I hope you’re not talking to the work microwave
It is dirty
Goodbye goodbye goodbye

I will never talk to the work microwave
I will never let it heat up my empty mug
I recite this litany at bedtime
I say it when I wake up


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